Some Zoey/Tharf secret paper

Wow I haven't been here in forever. Life has just been too busy. Ugh. I can't wait until I graduate and have time to work on my own campaign again *wistfully dreams*

Anyway, here's a conversation between Zoey and Tharf on the way to a big battle we were about to undertake (which we won, yay!). My girlfriend and I wrote this together, so no touchy! And hopefully she won't mind me putting this up ^^;

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Note: This happened just after we left, after Tharf secluded herself from everyone below deck. Thinking that she was angry because the group chose Zoey’s mother over Blaine, Zoey went looking for her.

Finding that the door to the room she and Tharf are staying in is closed, and unable to open it, Zoey knocks on it several times. She gets the overwhelming feeling of Tharf’s desire to be left alone, but she stubbornly stays there, waiting for a response.

A few moments pass, and when there is none, she lets out a frustrated sigh and says through the door, “Tharf, come on. I…I don’t want us to be fighting. I love you.”

“Reading, love you too.”

“You’re not just reading, you’re upset.”

“Why should I be upset?” Tharf replies passive-aggressively.

“Because Blaine isn’t here. And I know you feel…” she pauses, searching for the right words “…ignored and neglected.”

“I’m not upset; my thoughts and opinions are just not meaningful to our party, so from now on I’m withholding them. I think it will leave me with a lot more time for reading.”

Tharf immediately feels strong sadness and guilt from the other side of the doorway. “Love…they are meaningful, YOU are meaningful! That’s not what I, what everyone, meant by leaving Blaine behind!”

“Its not just Blaine, it’s Ciaran too. No one really seems to care that he’s done these things, or that Shino fucked up royally, somehow I’m getting all of this slack as if I were at fault for it simply because I brought it to light. No one except you even cares about my Guild and I’m seen as unreasonable and childish. What if Ciaran had killed Jozan or one of Shino’s masters? What if he’d messed with Scotty’s people or Stormraven’s clan, or your family? Its all more important than a few dead alchemists, it’s always more important than my needs or desires. This group is selfish and takes from me when it suits them, but when I ask of something from them I am ganged up on or shot down, blamed and ignored. I tried to get out of this and it didn’t work. I tried to strategize for us and I was treated like a child. I did not choose Blaine because he is my mentor; I truly felt his power, knowledge and leadership abilities were crucial to us. However, I am not taken seriously unless we have a need to blow something up or there are deadly plants to defeat. I am sick of being one of the most levelheaded members of this group and one who has fucked up little in comparison to others, yet apparently I am not ‘human’ enough to be treated like anything except a beast of burden.”

Through her voice, Zoey can tell that Tharf is near tears, and feels through their link that she is hurt and furious. She remains totally silent while Tharf speaks, but the whole time her feeling of guilt keeps growing. “I know you know I try not to treat you childishly,” she says after a moment, “and I love you and want to stand up for and protect you more than anything…” There is a thud, like she let her head fall against the closed door. “Gods, I wish I could change this. How I’ve acted, how our friends have acted. I was very selfish and I can’t even begin to explain how sorry I am…” She trails off, the Tharf feels a distinct frustration from her, and hears a pounding on the wall beside the door where the panel to open it should be. Zoey grunts and lets out a long breath. “Love, I can’t get into the room. Please let me come to you.”

“Its not you mostly, everyone else…if it weren’t for you I’d have left long ago,” Tharf replies. She unlatches the door but does not open it more than a crack. “I just feel my desire to play to the ego of our teammates waning and I fear this is going to make me choose to abandon this quest to save the world, and I’d hoped I was a better person than that.” She peers at Zoey pathetically through the crack in the door.

Zoey meets her eyes, reaching through the crack to touch her. “My love…you are an amazing person. The best person among us.”

Tharf snorts, the closest she’s ever sounded to her horse half. “That is neither the truth nor the point. I’ve just decided to leave my opinions out of our party members’ knowledge. I will be what they desire of me, a faithful and dumb beast under the domestication of our team.” Zoey then feels Tharf’s pride threaten to overtake her other emotions. “Look what I have been reduced to, a common mare, a workhorse, a mule…” Her anger swells.

Zoey bites her lip hard, feeling her own anger growing. “You are not that, love. At least you will NEVER be that to me.” She ponders something for a moment. “…If you want, we can leave and try to rescue Soriah on our own.”

“I am not fool enough to think I could survive that without the benefit of the team’s skills as a near whole, unfortunately.”

“Honestly, I don’t think either of us would. But if you want to leave, my dearest, I would go with you. I would have gone with you alone to Ironcross.”

“I know you would, hun, and I appreciate that, but I think its best not to pull a Shino right now. When this is over, however, well…it’s your island, you can do as you will, but I’d like it to be our home and I’m not sure I’d like everyone else to live in our home anymore.”

She thinks for a moment. “…Can I actually come in?” she then asks, looking around the hallway.
Tharf slides open the door and steps aside.

Zoey steps in quickly, then closes the door, latches it, and walks closer to the other side of the room. Once she thinks she’s far enough away, near the hammock bed, she motions for Tharf to join her. Tharf crosses the space to do so, lying down to be closer to eye level with Zoey.
She says then, very quietly, “I’m not sure I do either. I know I agreed to be friends with Scotty, and I like Enta, but I’m beginning to trust him less and less. He just keeps so many secrets. Stormraven I believe I could generally do without, especially if he lets Soriah or their child die. Both he and Scotty are taking liberties with my island that I’m not comfortable with. As for Shino, part of me still wants her and Jozan to be a part of our home, as I consider her family, but…I’m not sure anymore. Not entirely. She’s my sister, but she’s treated us like crap, and it might be beneficial for us to take a break from each other.”

“It would pain me the most at this point to lose Enta’s friendship,” Tharf replies, “but I care little for Scotty’s schemes. I agree that some time away from Shino would be good, and there will never be any love loss between Stormraven and myself, especially after his ‘marriage.’” She snorts out the final word, her voice filled with cynicism.

Zoey nods. “Well, his clan is supposed to leave our island when this is all over. I assume he wouldn’t be averse to leaving with them, and I don’t have a problem asking him – no, telling him to. I think Scotty should be dealt with separately…” she thinks for a moment. “I could get my father to help. But since we’re concerned about Enta, maybe we could get her to help us get him to leave.” Her voice turns bitter. “After all, he never really asked is all his crew could live on my land. But as for Shino…I think when this is over, we should really talk to her and be honest about it. I don’t know how else we’d prevent her from living there, as I can’t beat her in combat anymore.”

“She may wish to live in the Empire anyway after she marries Jozan. Besides, you wouldn’t have to beat her, just ask her to leave if that is what you wished.”

“I don’t know. Everyone seems to think they’re entitled to space on the island, even though I’m the only one who inherited it. And Jozan put all that money into carving out the mountain for us…though now that I think about it, I think Shino did ask in the first place.”

“That is your decision, my love, as it is yours to do with what you will. I just hope we will be able to call it home someday.”

Zoey takes Tharf’s hand. “It is OUR decision, my wife, and it WILL be our home,” she says with determination, though still in a hushed tone. “What do you think we should do?”

“I think we should see if we can keep it in the air before we decide who lives on it.”

Zoey sighs, letting her hand go. “I know, but making plans for the future, even if the future is insecure, makes me feel a bit better.”

“Then plan your little heart out, my love, and I will listen,” Tharf says, looking suddenly exhausted.

Zoey kisses her. “No, you look like you need some sleep.

“You can talk; I’ll just listen and rest.” She settles down and closes her eyes.

“But you’ll pass out, and not listen to me,” Zoey states, quirking an eyebrow.

“But I like to hear you by me, it’s comforting.”

At this, she caves, looking at Tharf with affection. She leans forward and kisses her nose. “All right,” she says, and sits down on the hammock. “You know, now that I think about it, it might be better to talk to everyone at once. It is kind of the same issue for everyone, though it’s a bit more complicated than that. I don’t know. And I think Scotty can scheme more easily when he’s one-on-one with a person, so if we’re in a group…”

As Zoey continues talking, very train-of-thought bordering on babble, Tharf slowly drifts off to sleep. Once Zoey realizes she’s done so, she lays down on the hammock to sleep as well, reaching out to hold Tharf’s hand as she too drifts off.