On the way to the mountains

Some more Tanisevania inner-monologuing, on the way to the ninja base in the mountains of Ni-Shan. Sooo yeah:

Tanisevania: Inner Thoughts on the Way to the Mountains

While she and her very strange and unexpected companions trudged on towards the ninja’s mountain base, Tanisevania found herself lost in thought, mulling over recent events amidst the small talk and Kaleena’s usual chatter.

The last few days had been very odd, even by her standards. She couldn’t recall ever being so angry, and as such, had not expected to forgive Grim so quickly. She sighed, staring up at the back of his towering hair. He had insulted something of herself that was more a part of her than she had realized. But she knew that his life had been completely different from her own, as if they had lived on different worlds. So as hurt as she had been, she knew he didn’t mean any disrespect, even thought he still hadn’t listened to her. She had to admit, also, that she was glad they were back on good terms. She valued his friendship and company both in and out of bed; he was really the closest friend she had, other than Frances, and she didn’t want to lose that. Part of her was concerned that he took her word as truth so unconditionally, but also relieved – she had been so afraid that he would turn his back on her for deceiving him in their first interactions. Relief filled her in terms of his feelings toward her as well. The way he had reacted to Conalla and Kankuro’s change in relationship, and to the idea of pregnancy, definitely reassured her. Every time he rushed to her aid in battle, though she appreciated it, she worried that he might be falling in love. And she had dealt with that too many times already. So for him to show such disturbance, such lack of comprehension as to why a person would seek only one partner, made her feel much more comfortable.

Conalla, however, was another story. She looked over her shoulder at the short human, noting the closeness and intimacy in the way she stood near Kankuro. Just the night before, she had assured both her and Vesa that she didn’t have feelings for the silent Cleric. Now here she was, reportedly in love. What had gone on in her questioning of him that had changed things? It wasn’t that she was jealous, just…slightly disappointed. She had been looking forward to spending another night with her, and had been happy to find that at least a few of her companions shared her opinions of sex. She could no longer count Conalla among that number, and that saddened her. She was still happy to know her, of course, and grateful for the friendship they had developed. But she worried too that Kankuro might hurt her in the end, based on the suspicions they had held about his heritage. After all, at least one person always gets hurt in these situations, even when there’s no suspicion of any kind. One of them always leaves, either by choice or by death. I do well to stay out of it, and I will leave them alone to deal with that as it comes, but I do not want to see either one of them suffer. Especially Conna. She turned her gaze forward again, glancing down for a moment to smile at Frances. There is still pain in losing friends, of course, but it must be different than the pain of losing one person you’ve devoted your entire heart and body to. I beg of the earth itself that our suspicions about Kankuro are unfounded, and that Conalla will have as little pain in this as possible. Surprised at herself, she stifled a bittersweet chuckle. Before knowing these people, she rarely prayed to nature for entirely selfish reasons.

The group rounded a bend, and looking back once more, the small Druid noticed that Imari and Haedae were hanging back from the rest of them, talking quietly amongst themselves. She frowned. Had Conalla told Kankuro what they suspected, and had her in turn told the two of them? She would have to ask her about that the next time they were alone. She glanced at Vesa, then back at Haedae. If he had tried to talk to her, as he hand planned, it might have gone badly and that could have been the reason she, at least, was walking far behind the main procession. Considering how her friend usually treated the other Bard, she didn’t expect it to go any other way. She was honestly surprised that Haedae remained with them, or didn’t at least stand up for herself.

Well, regardless of what happens in that conversation, I still have to speak to Imari, she thought, trying not to stare at her. She had to admit she was nervous about that. The last time she had talked alone with the fighter, she had acted foolishly and caused days of awkwardness. She knew also that if a similar situation presented itself, she wouldn’t be able to keep her desire in check and prevent herself from trying again. Honestly, she couldn’t help it – Imari was probably the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. It was impossible not to imagine what her body looked like under all that fabric, or what her skin would feel like, what it would taste like to really kiss her. She shook her head, trying to clear it of such visions. No, she needed to keep to the plan and simply ask her questions that might give her information as to whether or not Kankuro was dangerous. Besides, I’ve already taken on the teaching of one virgin, I’m not sure I’d be so successful with another pupil, especially a female one. Women are so much trickier.

Her eyes came to focus on the trees to her right, reminding her of her real purpose in journeying as she was. Above all things, she needed to keep her eyes open and her ears alert for any sign of that horrid disease. She felt guilty enough that she had diverged from her original mission plan in coming to Ni-Shan, but the Elder had given her permission, and she could make some good come from it. She would ask the plants themselves as she travelled if they knew of any such sickness, and once they reached the mountains, she would seek the Druids there and at least alert them of the problem. Of course, they might have already received word from the Elders, but there was a chance that the news hadn’t reached this far. For now, however, all she could do was continue to question the local plant life in every place they stopped and keep her senses open for any signs.

She was jarred out of thought as the group finally stopped to make camp. The fact that they had gone a full day without attack was comforting, considering how much she abhorred battle, but it also made her a little uneasy. They would all have to be extra careful during their watches. Sighing with the weight of all she had to worry about, she called Frances closer to her side and set off to forage for dinner. If anything helped clear her head, other than more physical options, it would be focusing her energies on the here and now, and what needed to be attended to immediately.